Some people run
around the world needing things all the fucking time and getting them
like crazy. (Except for the stuff they really need.) There
are people that have ohter people doting on them right and left, doling
out shit, giving them stuff for free, supporting them. They cut their
little finger and six guys are rushing to help take care of it. This
may even happen to you. You may be getting tons of fucking stuff you
need for free. Or it may not be happening to you and you may be fighting
for every scrap of anything you get. Or perhaps more likely, a combination
of things coming easily and things coming hardly.
And the thing
is, you can use the principle of rolling downhill to just sort of
go around expecting that the universe will meet your needs because
you think it works that way and well -why the fuck not? - everyone
is sure to enjoy meeting your needs. And often they will. Because
once again you have distorted the universe to your expectations. If
you expect that your needs will not be met, due to hellacious prior
experience, the universe will peaceably roll downhill in the direction
you expect. If you are a lucky fucker, and expect that everything
will go your way because it always has, it will frequently get all
lazy and do just that. This will not always work. But you can enjoy
a pretty good run with it. Part of the key is to not create the black
hole of needness when you're doing this. You don't feel a lack of
anything. You feel, instead, like you are doing the world a favor
because you are ever so considerately letting it know what to do to
make you happy. The universe loves instructions! It has a massive
job and anyone that can make things easier for it by just sort of
happily letting it know what the easiest thing to do will be, it tends
to go along with. This is not going to work when Someone Else With
a Massive Agenda comes along and distorts your neck of the universe
with their agenda, leaving the universe too busy to attend to yours.
This is like if
you were little Mercury and big bad Saturn came rolling by and said
'I have lots of mass! My mass outweighs yours and everything will
roll toward me!' Stuff would roll toward it. Hell, it's big. And
we already saw how gravity responds to that Massive Distorting Mass
Thingy. It gets distorted by it. This is one reason why you have experienced
not having your needs met in your lifetime. Because sometimes there
is just big Massive Shit rolling through. But lots and lots of the
time, the other people around you are not all that energetic and massive,
and they are more than content to roll around and be affected by your
gravity. So use this principle and happily throw your weight around
by expecting your needs will be met. Adjust over to wanting when they
aren't, but in the meantime...hell, everybody loves to roll downhill.
It's easy! Help 'em roll towards you. God knows you have done enough
unexepcted rolling downhill in your own lifetime - share the wealth!
A second strangeness
of need is that the universe is not entirely opposed to it because
it creates want. People do not suffer need because it's good for
their character. This is a nasty, uncharitable idea. Suffering
is not in and of itself good for people. In fact, it just plain fucking
sucks and not uncommonly destroys them. But the universe is curiously
fascinated by how needing one thing often creates an incredible desire
for something else in the normal human. As with the Guatemalan kid
who needed love and developed a strong desire to Help Others. This
happens all the time and the universe is just fascinated by this.
So you can Need Help and from that come to Desire Justice. Or need
respect on the job and develop a Desire for High-Paying Employment.
Or need to help your kid and develop a desire for A Cure For Leukemia.
This just amazes the universe and it is continually delighted by the
incredible things these desires produce. It never gets tired of watching
that. How someone whose kid was murdered and needs comfort develops
a ferocious desire to See Criminals Caught and just starts making
that happen. They are not comforted at first, yet they are An Advocate
For Others. Eventually, the original need strips away and dies but
the desire often remains. 'Wow!' the universe says when that happens.
'That was really something. Let's see if something like that will
happen again if we block the meeting of someone's needs.'
The universe somewhat
suspects That Nothing Would Actually Happen unless unmet needs produced
desires that distorted time and space and created all kinds of interesting
shit. And for that very reason, it is strongly tempted to throw down
big hunks of Terrible Unmet Neediness at every single person it encounters
at some point in their life because it is convinced they can turn
that experience into something really useful. Sometimes it misses
a few people who are Not Very Interesting in its attempts to do this,
but usually it tries to hit anyone worth bothering about. In other
words, when you get hit with this shit, you are actually Being Paid
a Huge Compliment. The universe has faith in you. You don't have faith
in you, and you don't have faith in the universe, but it doesn't really
care what you think - it thinks it's right. Even, I suppose, if it
isn't. At any rate, it is helpful to realize this. You are supposed
to get something out of the Terrific Unfairness you are experiencing
and the Terrifying Dependence on a universe that won't give you jack.
Keep this in mind, and be prepared to cash in. Claim your desire,
whatever it turns out to be. You earned it.
So that's our
second special bonus tip. The third is that you can sometimes throw
the ball back in the universe's court and pull a switcho-changeo on
it. This can be kind of fun. You get rolling with your desire and
then can't for the fucking life of you figure out how the hell to
make it happen. So you pull this one out of your magic bag - you say
'Okay universe, I am going to trust that you will get me what I need
to make this happen.' You are still needing something - in pursuit
of a desire - but you make the universe figure out what to do about
it! Brilliant! You're so clever.
Because the universe
is a sucker for this kind of thing. It's like - 'well....I mean if
you're asking for my opinion (and it's all flattered that you are)
well I would say...' And then it realizes it doesn't know what to
say. So it gets all busy thinking about it and goes 'hmmmm..... all
right, so you want to be a professional Elvis impersonator but you
have no talent....hmmmm, this is tricky. Hmmm...all right, so let's
see, if I jiggered things around so that you got a job in Las Vegas
where people don't really need talent, although wait that's difficult
because you live in New Zealand...okay, hold on, I'm thinking this
through. Okay, I foresee a coming need in Las Vegas for Professional
Computer Technicians Specializing In Casino Security, of course you
don't have any experience at that...okay wait, all right, okay, so
first I send you to computer school, and then I get you interested
in network security and then i get rid of your job in New Zealand
and then I send your second cousin who lives in America to Las Vegas
and then I, okay I'm working this out, and then I hook you up with
your second cousin somehow although your mother isn't speaking to
him, damn this is complicated, but hold on, I am getting a handle
on it....' And so on.
This is why
it frequently takes a long fucking time for your desires to manifest.
They're fucking complicated from the universe's point of view. But
it will work on them endlessly once it gets wrapped up in the puzzle.
It has to jigger things around. But it loves that kind of shit. It's
what keeps it amused. It doesn't like to be beaten at this kind of
a game and so it will just work tirelessly behind the scenes, occasionally
getting kind of crabby when you keep saying 'Are we there yet? How
much longer?' Which makes it want to say 'I'm working on it, all right?
Quit asking. We'll be there when we're there.' But it expects you
to ask the question occasionally anyway. That's how it knows you're
still interested. If you have lots of competing desires, it will get
run fairly ragged trying to figure them all the fuck out -and so will
you - but it will not be deterred.
Therefore, occasionally
when you are in need of something - let the universe handle it. Less
stressful for you, for sure. You don't have everything in the universe
at your disposal - the universe, quite logically, does. You don't
have a car, you need one, identify the desire, let the universe handle
it and keep your eyes fucking peeled for when it rolls downhill toward
your circle of infiuence and then grab the fucker.
Okay. There are
probably lots and lots of other special bonus tips out there that
everyone else is aware of and I am not - but I am tired and 3 super-secret
special bonus tips seems like more than enough for one web page! So
we'll leave it at that.
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